Thursday, December 21, 2006

Mixed feelings

The day began on a moderately hectic note and after attending to my household chores I was off to office. The mind was without fear, and head was held high, and this remains my state at the end of the day, although the magnitude of the fear and the high headed-ness dropped by a minuscle through the happenings of the day...
My wud-be gave splendid piece of news thru the middle of the day and her promotion was catalyst enough to make me feel a few notches higher. Now I realize additional advantages of getting married, where the joy of sharing happiness mutually is so wonderful a sentiment...
The evening turns out to be a sudden date to quickly celebrate the success ! I discovered this new thing about coincidences and wish making when you utter the same word simultaneously with someone, so we decided to give it a shot and hope for the best outcome to give us company in the near future...
This last week has been a true connoisseur's treat, and I have already tasted a wide variety of delicacies, with many mouth watering sweet-meats. On multiple occasions, our kind hosts actually guessed what was on my mind and I got to savor those food items to my heart's content.
A good message came in last week by telephone, and I only hope it translates into something fruitful, so that I can bring fruition to my plans..Abhijit's homecoming has been such a wonderful experience and suddenly the home is buzzing with activity. It almost sounds like our lives had gone to a frozen state, lacking the energy and enthusiasm, and spring has returned with blossoms of those fragrant flowers and we r up and running again as we were about 18 months ago. I also got to relive those moments of him troubling me again, which were conspicuous by their absence, and I had to make solitude my dear friend !!!
I sent in quite a few marriage invitations this week and looks like the fag end is approaching, although a tad far...I pray to God that things work out smoothly and any worrisome factors are ironed out before the D-day. Looking forward to a big vacation from next week onwards, probably been a long time, maybe after my Engineering exam breaks. I wish my blog readers a Happy new year in advance, since I'm not sure I'll be signing in soon before 2007 dawns..Happy holidays folks..

Monday, November 27, 2006

Blogging, which was an obssession at one point in time, has now suffered a setback. Today its just when i ran out of options to do that I decided to login and pen a few words here. The office was jampacked with action last week, which never seems to run out of steam, as there is lot of ammunition which is added to keep the flame alive ! My principle of detachment helps me cope up with these daily bouts of anxiety, as I stay aloof looking for the bigger principle in life. This Saturday me and family drove to Khalapur off the Pune-Mumbai Expressway for this 'Kelvan' which becomes a treat if you will, in the pre-nuptial, post-bethrothment era of mankind. Panchpakwan or the five delicacies were the speciality of the house and it was refreshing to be in a village, abundant with rain, and some glorious gift of flora and fauna. It is at these junctures that I inadvertently put on the thinking hat and ponder over our purpose in life. Is it just to lead an action packed life, full of work, TV and other material comforts or is it to discover your true self? Happiness is truly a state of mind, as it cannot be multiplied by the sodium vapour lamps that add color and illuminate the dark city streets, but are not incandescent enough to uplift the human spirit !!!
At times, ridiculous though it may sound, I experience in myself, a miniature Buddha, who felt compassionate towards his fellow beings and reached enlightenment in due pursuit of a solution for the same. I really empathize with the sorrow around and feel I need the power to transform lives to make this world a much better place, devoid of the vicious elements and even the natural phenomenon of life and death. Of course, this thought is too far fetched, since it amounts to transgressing the boundaries of my mortal existence and attempting to barge into the domain of the One God, who very well knows how things should be...
Getting rid of the cricket mania has done me a lot of good and every sorry performance by our team does not penetrate into my system any longer. In fact, I wish people got more wiser and did not look upon victories in a game of cricket to serve as a feel-good factor; the media gets fresh meat on their kabab stick with every dismal loss and tabloids are currently too busy tracking how the heart beat between Ash and the Jr B is getting faster and passionate.
Music is a true refresher as was proven Saturday nite, when I caught up Gazals by the maestro Jagjit Singh on my local cable channel. Felt like it was a true moment of bliss, and was one of those rare moments, when you feel life should just come to a standstill ...

Friday, November 10, 2006

The ball gets rolling..

This is a phase in life where things seem to be moving rather than gathering moss. The last month has not changed life dramatically, but clearly brings along that lilting melody of the hummingbird, which seems to have come back after a rather long migration and hibernation..
Life is set for a change when one gets married, and i can sense that from the fact that i am set to lose my bachelorhood, albeit willingly. The self will be lost and a couple will replace it unknowingly and from what it seems so far, happily. The Atlantic sea of turmoil on this front has turned pacific, and suddenly it sounds like a mission accomplished. A couple of nerve wrecking feelings have also made a stopover at times, but I have managed to quash them under the blanket of optimism. There have been quite a few first things over the past fortnight and while it sounded so intriguing and exhilirating at that time, my objectivity has returned back only to make me feel as normal as the winters which have just started casting their spell over the city of Pune.
The days are getting smaller but my sleep is burgeoning beyond the normal, and for the past few days, I seem to wake up amidst the chirping of birds, but the inertia to get moving takes it toll and forces me to turn back by a right angle into a comfortable prostrate position.
The Champions' Trophy came and went like an unwanted guest and no wonder the enthusiasm was at its nadir. I must have barely watched a total of 15-20 minutes of the entire tournament and did not regret that one bit. What made news was the final, and no, it wasn't the lop-sided match, but the post-match presentation which was such a newsmaker. I must say the Aussies did it in perfect style, very akin to their blood, and the roots of their ignoble origin surface at times like this, causing embarrasment to the folks around. Made me ashamed to Australian cricket of which I have been an avid fan since the Summer of 1999 when India toured there after 8 long years.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Goan Rhapsody

Its been more than a week since the culmination of our Goan Rhapsody, but time has been flying at lightening speed and lots of eventful things around caused me to return to blog-board at an interval greater than the usual.
This trip was special to me in multiple ways; right from the inception of the idea to the planning and successful execution of plans. Our team has been so much used to be shown carrots which never really flourish, and trinkets that can charm babies but not bombastic software engineers, that we tend to look at every object with a jaundiced eye. So it was no surprise that when the news of this trip was split to us, the initial reaction was that of complete disbelief with that distinct element of sattire ! Even a couple of weeks later, when the dates came really close, dark clouds loomed large over us when the impending release was as if stuck up in a bubble gum, unwilling to make the egress. Expectation is the root cause of misery felt really apt, since our blase reaction ensured that news of possibly not going to Goa failed to dampen our spirits...
Sometimes Lady Luck also decides that enough mockery has happened and hence, the lucky BE team actually got the green signal to make gala plans for Goa. A string of unpleasant events in the course of that month, which came to visit me like ghosts of the past almost made me jump off the bandwagon as a silent mark of protest to the ensuing happenings, but ultimately good sense prevailed and all of us were on for the jaunt!!!
Then the angel or the good guy in me stepped up to the challenge and decided to enjoy this to the fullest; that's how I landed in the .org domain and was soon looking at travel arrangements and catering related activities. This was also veiled by my hidden agenda to network more with people and increase the feel-good factor within myself.
When the Goan Rhapsody day arrived, we were in high spirits and set off vy Goa Express towards Madgao. A couple of hours of train delays only confirmed the reliable and predictable nature of the Indian Railways. Rains seemed to be playing spoilsport on Friday morning and looked like we were in for a lot of indoor activites, courtesy the rain gods, but the Sun came shining down upon the ocean waters the moment we stepped into Gomantak territory and this was enough to cheer us up.
The Radisson White sands resort was exquisite and classy in its design and service. The room was pretty cosy and had great interiors, befitting any 5-star hotel. The next 3 days we gorged upon the choicest of desserts, fruit, bread and Indian delicacies during every meal..Non veggies savoured upon sea foods and Goan fish curry. What stood out during the visit was the team spirit which was rejuvenated or rather created for the first time since a long time...
The length and breadth of activities we did there were really stupendous. Just to name a few, got a taste of steam bath and a jacuzzi followed by a nice head ache :-) . Beach volleyball turned out to be the ultimate charmer, in addition to water polo interspersed with some mocktails and pints of beer for few of us.
Kojagiri night celebration on the beach was a truly romantic setting, though I lacked the ammo (read wife/gf) to fully exploit the situation. The campfire experience which never really caugght fire still remains etched in my memory.. Our cultural nite was another highlight of this Rhapsody.
As if this was not enough, we did manage to snuggle in a few more activities like the bowling alley, air hockey and dancing on the discotheque to the tunes of Indi pop and Samba.. Some nice firang dancers were icing on the cake and were really soothing to our sleepy eyes.. And then the great fun we had in Charan's room was remarkable to say the least...
Did have a lot of fun on the trip and made quite a lot of friends and acquaintances as well. Was indeed a Rhapsody !!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Lage raho Akshay...

Watched LRMunnabhai last weekend, and needless to say it has thoroughly impressed me. Was truly refreshing to watch a pure breed film replete with entertainment and those subtle social messages which will strengthen our Indian fabric !
While non-violence and non-conventional techniques of achieving success have been on my experiment list for quite some time, Gandhigiri has re-consolidated my faith in such philosophies. I think the Lage Raho part of the film title is so apt, and again makes us persevere without feeling exhausted..
My X-factor seems have to have gathered some momentum, and I couldn't be wrong if my friends shower that dose of occasional praise upon me and my personality. Feels good. Also my sixth sense is working a bit or seems to have got the catalyst to pick those ambient signals, which usually just turn into entropy for want of transistors tuned to the right frequency.
Fancy and exotic dreams are also the flavour of this season,and while some of them make logical sense, while others just seem to reflect the ebb and tide of my oceanic waters !! Some of them are feel good and help cheering my spirits, giving me a high feeling without using any spirits :-)
Have a lot of things lined up thru the next week, including a TechSupport session, some Windows Networking readup and then co-ordinating the logisitics of our Goa trip..Keeping me busy and improving my 'networking', after all that has been one of my preset goals. As if the One is saying, don't worry 'Lage raho Akshay' !!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Mexican wave

I have conjured up this prose-like poetry to break the monotony which i think has set into my blogs....

The year came like a messenger of growth and excitement,
Gay were my spirits and i was lilting like a butterfly !
This Indian spring would usher in that flavor of merriment(I thought),
Would I pair up with melodies of that childhood lullaby ?
Enjoying every success at work; my mind, body and soul
Felt elated at times with occassional tinges of ego massaging
Then it was almost half-time, but there wasn't any goal
Emotions were running high, but my luck was just relaxing !!
Then came the fresh showers of monsoon, soaking all my emotions
But life had by then become hanging stalactites and stalagmites
Painful swords of Damascus filled my heart with divine devotions,
The hermit crab in me was day dreaming and flying kites ........
Neither a bed of roses nor strewn with the choicest of thorns
My reflections upon life and beyond have exalted my mortal existence
Would I really be exaggerating by saying I was just reborn ?
The market bulls are roaring, but this Tauran(bull) is lacking that ambience
Fall in the West and Autumn in the East is round the corner
My negative beta helps me rise against the massive oceanic tides ..
The final quarter will boost my reputation & replenish my armor
Truimph will be mine with 'name' and 'fame' in my stride !!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Wishful thinking

Day dreaming has become a habit of sorts for me these days. Many a times, the flurry of thoughts is so rapid that my mind travels like blitzkrieg , making it difficult to apply the brakes. I have to consciously steer my mind towards more worldly things, much against the wishes of the 'mann' !
This effect is more pronounced on weekends when the idle mind is a devil's workshop, and ironical though it may sound, I look forward more to week days when work and even office worries serve as a pleasant retreat compared to the volcano that fails to cool off ...As if to compensate for the paucity of US travel and roller-coaster rides in those theme parks, this wishful thinking has all the elements like fear, suspense, thrill, ecstacy etc and that element of surprise too.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

A lazy Thursday afternoon

Its a Thursday afternoon and laziness has gripped me tightly. Planning to make a pre-mature exit from office today and dash off home, core working hours are over anyways and I am all set to enjoy a long weekend by taking Friday off...Planning to make a nice jaunt to Kolhapur this Sunday, and I hope that rains will not play spoilsport in this scheme of things. Its been a little over a year since we went there and the urge grew stronger after a couple of dreams I had last month envisioning the Goddess Shakti herself. As if to say, my son, do not worry, your mundane worries will be solved if you come to me.
Peace and a beatific state of mind have made longer stop-owers in my body and soul since the last few weeks; while I have traditionally had the pleasure of being stoic to circumstances, my 'sthitapradnya bhav' and cherubic demeanor have been supplemented by doses of spiritual reading. I was a bit surprised myself, when I heard people say some 'nice' things about me and experienced that I could relate better to nature and its tiny creatures. And all this transformation happening in a fortnight was truely unbelievable.
I was lucky to have the benediction of reading the English xlation of the Guru Charitra and my faith in the Lord has multiplied several times, as an outcome..
The weekend is not all fun, as it may sound though; there is a pile of exam papers waiting to be evaluated and it feels good, although scary at times, that I contribute to the future of the student populace and future software engineers. And then the holy scriptures and their teaching remind me that its not me who governs this, but the Supreme lord who uses me as a tool to get things done..
Did quite a bit of interviewing since last week and things are getting more fluent with time.It also has additional advantages of brushing up technical skills which tend to rust over a period of time like any good tool..
I decided to try my own miniature fear factor by donating blood. I wanted to get rid of the fear psychosis associated with injuries and blood in general and so I decided to overcome it by being in the midst of things. Was trying to use a thorn to draw a thorn :-) . I did go ahead with the blood donation, but the vasovagal shock which is the natural companion of the activity did make a short visit.I went blank for a couple of seconds and thankfully I was prostrate and this was followed by a streak of sweat, enough to stir a mild anxiety amongst the personnel there, but a couple of cans of mango juice and I was pretty normal then.
My blood group is O+ve but my attitude is B+ve. ;-)



Saturday, August 26, 2006

This blog compiled @home

It is always essential to be occupied with some or the other activity. I don’t know that this is the best start to my blog, but today the domain, terrain and environment are all different and this causes me to try harder than usual. [To demystify this puzzle, I am blogging from home for a change and not the usual seat in my office cubicle]. The stream of thoughts is not as streamlined as usual but who cares..:-) .

The end of a release is strange in many ways. While I am happy that the job is done, there is a twilight zone in which ambivalent feelings tend to soak my soul. More important than anything else, it creates a sudden void in the daily bug bashing routine and it takes a while to steer the ship in a different direction.

One good thing during this gestation period is to concentrate on those P3 goals which are otherwise, nothing but ornamental in nature to the goal-setting exercise done every year or six months. I am trying to be a bit more organized and have set a few professional and personal milestones to help utilize time better.

This fortnight, I did manage to put my culinary skills to test on more than a couple of occasions and without letting my alter-ego getting a massage, it is worthwhile to admit that I have passed the exam with flying colors. I have seen that I tend to enjoy this activity and that makes the process enjoyable and has the additional advantage of satiating my palate, ensuring that gastric juices have some good company of mirch-masala. Chapattis are the next on my agenda and that will make me feel a mini Sanjeev Kapoor, I guess.

Today I was amused to ready that our solar system has lost Pluto to dwarf hood reducing the magical number 9 to 8.It is apt though, that in numerological terms, this should happen in the year 2006, which adds up to 8. Though any kind of reductions are welcome to the ever dwindling memory of mankind; generation Y or maybe Z will have one free cell in their grey matter. I was a bit skeptical when earlier in the month, they planned to augment the count from 9 --> 12 and I must say that good sense has finally prevailed.

I am planning to step up the gas on a different plane and see the results for myself. That requires a lot of courage and grit, though the resolve is much stronger in my heart. More on that as things fructify and the Harry Potter in me shapes up lumps of clay into a nice pot. I wish my pot becomes a pot pourri of good luck and has my coveted flower smiling happily in it. Touch-wood !!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Lord of the Rings.

I have been planning to leave office early for the past several weeks, but there’s a catch 22 situation at hand. Making an early egress means having to skip certain rituals, which now define my new persona; and my mind, has been conditioned into not making those compromises. And somewhere around 7 or 7:30 pm, when office chores and personal agendas are attended to, it is traffic jams which force me to wait in the secure confines of a security company rather than venture into the dark murky boulevards, with not tinges of water, but overflowing gargoyles of rain-water which have been pouring onto the city and the Deccan Plateau incessantly for the past few weeks.

After finishing the succinct version of the Bhagavad-Gita, I had the privilege to read more philosophical literature in the form of ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’ and followed it up with Deepak Chopra’s Seven Laws of Success. Some of the techniques in there are truly marvelous if applied in the right spirit and I am willing to make a gambit to get back what slipped thru my cuff last month. Oh, I get goose bumps when my thoughts travel back in time…

I did quite a bit of religious reading too last week and have been continuing this routine. The story of Shani (Saturn) sounded intriguing when my mom told it to me and I aptly chose a Saturday to read thru it; it was indeed absorbing, revering and gave a great sense of peace in the end… Its indeed the Lord of the rings i.e. Saturn who is lord of the planets!!

Another therapy that I am practicing is the one on Anger Management, and the crux is to not generate those anger impulses in the first place; aka prevention is better than cure. It’s an uphill task and I know that the going is tough, but not as tough as I thought it would be. It amazes me how you look for conventional and unconventional ways and means when the ride is a little bumpy and light at the end of the tunnel is usually a train rather than the bright sunlight in an azure sky. :-)

Friday, July 28, 2006

time pass chalu hai boss...

Its one of those days when I have all the time to do what I want; of course the expectation is that the defect at hand be addressed, but its turning out to be a pain point to say the least.

I have become a great fan of ‘Fanaa’ songs and listening to them everyday has become a routine of sorts. Doing that at this very moment too :-)

Recently read ‘False impressions’ by Jeffrey Archer, I believe the first bestseller from him in his post-jail days. His literary style suits my interests and I remember I wasn’t too amused to hear him face a prison sentence. Also, this one was out of money from my own pocket after a long time, and I must thank the imitation folks who created a wonderful copy of the original with bar-code and stuff !!

Another good short-story collection I remember is ‘A quiver full of arrows’, it always had this element of surprise that left readers on tender-hooks towards the end.

My life has become a quiver of arrows in itself over the last six months or so.

Every other day I pull one out and aim it as if using the ‘Gandiv’ bow which was proudly possessed by Arjuna. More often than not, it fails to hit the target, or even if it does, it ends up meeting an aegis of defense.

I am still left wondering what foundry those shields are made of, that my arrows fail to pierce. The problem is not with the bow or arrow, it’s in Arjuna himself, who has lost focus or finds the bonding forces of Prakriti causing his plans to fall like nine-pins. The need of the hour is to blow the ‘Devdatta’ with full vigor and raise the war cry to enter the battle-field with a renewed sense of confidence.

Orkutting has become pretty pedestrian for me these days and I have come across many lost connections. I find it funny the rate at which some folks keep scrapping like regular IM chat, since I find it the least user friendly. In any case, it’s just for the one-off message was my belief. But with Yahoo messenger in office under the scanner from the IT dept, I must acknowledge the service it does to humanity.

Microsoft is coming to Pune shortly, is the news making rounds and spreading like wild forest fire, and adding fuel to this is the latest update that they are paying BE freshies a whopping 9.1 Lakh of rupees, that’s almost a million, by GOD !! Where is the IT industry headed towards ??

Planning to give today evening’s conf call a miss, since I see it more like a sheer waste of time and not paying the kind of dividends I expected it to. There was one good news btw, this week which lifted my spirits to more cheerful levels. When it was summer, I thought it was the heat and was longing for the monsoon. Now monsoons have gripped the peninsula, and that makes one feel lackadaisical at times. Human tendency I guess, to long for what is on the other bank of the river, and to long harder for things which seem out of control !!! I am trying to refrain from that though..Does that mean I am not human then ? :-)

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fresh like a flower

Life is a great teacher and a great leveller they say !
While I am still to see-n-believe the second part, atleast the 1st one sounds really true. Example is better than precept is such a true maxim, but why are these examples not always like the sweet nectar of flora ?
Anyways, chronicles of that chronic ache lie hidden in a mysterious Pandora's box waiting to be opened at the right time to uncan a lot of goodies for the benefit of posterity.
Watching TV has become a problem nowadays, with the FIFA out of fan focus, and its good old daily soaps that are giving company again. Of course, with stock markets swaying like the Columbus boat, there is no paucity of entertainment or news.
A couple of defects (or can they be coalesced) are keeping me relatively busy, and its been quite an experience trying to unravel the mystery of their origin; a fix sounds ages away at the moment. But I have accrued some benefits along the way like learning some Oracle backup commands along the way of the likes "alter database noarchivelog"....I also got to know what strace() does on Linux, with the caveat that it interferes with Oracle while trying to debug child process logs..Its been good in general though !!
The middle of the week was at its excellent best (i don't care if this is amounts to some kind of insult to M/s Oxford dictionary).
We had a ball with a game of football and it was a great game with fun and frolic all along and displaying a rare feeling of camaraderie which is limited to a limited circle in office at other times of the year.
Wednesday evening was action packed spending some quality time with friends munching over those subways and chips to give some crisp company.
At an emotional level, while last week was chequered this one has tried to be mildly volatile, but the calming influence of the Bhagawad Gita ensures that my nerves are in full control and I am brimming with confidence which was hiding in the closet for a long time.
The compliments keep coming from guys and I hope gals start noticing sooner than later that I am fresh like a flower, glowing with resplendent beauty like a lotus in a pool on a full moon day !



Friday, July 07, 2006

Physique and Chemistry

Blog titles come naturally to me at times and I need to craft them at times. Even the crafting is natural on occasions like this one today, whereas, its just a patchwork of a quilt on less rosy occasions.

Physique has been at the forefront of my fruitful existence in the past few weeks or months and I have every reason to cheer. Seeing words of praise and adulation being thrown upon me every day from unknown and known quarters makes my heart swell with pride and lungs swell with fresh air.

The last quarter has been good on the health front, and my body weight has corrected along with the stock markets in India and other BRICS economies !

Of course, I wud say its been a trend reversal for me, and I hope not to be bullish on my weight, since I think agility and nimbleness are much dearer to me than those lipid globules which should rightfully be a part of milk, ghee and cheese, rather than occupy pockets in my body..

Exercise is a stress buster and I am no health guru to re-state something new. Its just that ‘Experiential learning’ has its own joy, and when I tried it myself, the results are here to stay and devour upon.

Physics and chemistry go hand-in-hand and probably so do physique and chemistry. After all haven’t we gained adulthood riding our adolescent days on the sweet fairy tales of beauty and the beast. Well, maybe this is not the best possible parallel to draw, but think a little big and you know where I am getting.

In office, there are tasks which keep coming and going, and there used to be a time when a pile of defects was a shocker of sorts and the attempt was to call the routine FlushQueue( )

int FlushQueue()

{

if ( !emptyQ )

{

WorkHard( );

Panic( );

}

else

{

Party() ; // read AOE

}

}

While legacy code changes less, what has happened is the Panic() function is becoming less of a bugbear now, and is no longer an excuse to skip enjoying daily workouts or a happy weekend. Attitude changes a lot over time, and confidence is the key when things are looking nice..

Of course, the rain gods have probably been commanded by Lord Indra to wreak some havoc, and they have rightly obliged. Maybe the buttermilk which has long evaded the ruler of heavens was not offered in umpteen doses last year and so he’s unhappy with the state of affairs. The Sun was hiding in the closet of clouds, dark grey clouds probably called Nimbus and Pune city had become like sleepless in Seattle. But today is a different day and we are back to Sunny days, looking fwd to the last two football encounters of this mega world cup, which I have religiously followed.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Futball Mundial

I am totally zapped and engulfed by the football fever which is talk of the world. Though I am not an avid follower of the club championships, the aura of the World Cup is too celestial and magnanimous to ignore.
The round robin stage is almost over and its separated the chalk from cheese.
The real fun now begins, with extra time on ties at 90 min, and then the goalies' delight, the penalty shoot out. I think that is what fans look fwd to and adds that extra zeal to soccer.
Such is the effect of football, that it makes cricket go pale and our national game hockey completely outside the radar of public attention, though India is playing there and doing well for a change.

I had written a nice blog few days back, but I forgot to hit the SAVE button, and 30 minutes of literary wisdom went down the drain; felt sad to lose that masterpiece which occurs rarely, it was a Jungle book theme blog. Let me see if I can recreate that magic sometime in the future.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Back to Corba

Since last week, I have been back to working on CORBA, something I did a lot a couple of years back. And while I didn't fancy the idea, I had to take it like a bitter pill to swallow, since it seems there aren't too many experts in that area. Feels good to possess a skill that's a rareity in this software job market.
While the initial few things were pedestrian, its the new band of enhancements, that are making me feel pains. Well, add to this the pangs of separation I feel from a certain RD, and its only funny that I have a notion of spearation without really being together.. Sounds cryptic isn't it ?
That underlines the truth of the prophesy that I tend to hang on to certain things, and those thread leaks make my process sluggish. Amazing that concepts in OS can be matched so well to real life. Our life is like a round robin scheduling algorithm, and we keep dong certain tasks over and over again, hoping there are no deadlocks.

No wonder the legacy writers of OS thought of intuitive terms like sleep(), which we do when ee haven't got much to do..
This week, I look myself into the mirror and feel a zillion times better. This morning in fact that ecstacy to see the waiste-line recede like the tidal waters was so messemerizing that I literally started a salsa and followed it up with a dance ball with my image in the mirror.
The winds of change are indeed blowing and I think, a little more thought into my actions will give me exponentially better results.

Friday, May 12, 2006

A much better week

You know what, when its Friday AM and I am blogging, it can mean lot of things.
To make a few guesses myself:
1. I am already in a holiday / weekend mood trying to freakout.
2. The level of frustration is so high, and I don't have a friend around whose patient ears can take the venom I plan to spit out.
3. There is some very exciting news around the corner, and I am dying to share it with folks around.

Being realistic, its none of these reasons really. But just that I am feeling much better about myself than last week. Of course, destiny would argue that when you are sitting on Mariana trench the only direction you can take is northbound. But still I'm gay (no, not Karan Johar eshtyle) that my tryst with fate always has some light at end of the tunnel. Maybe karma decides to punish me for some wrong doings in my earlier births, but also provides a beacon to guide me thru the storm.

Without get more heavy on words, to put it plainly, I am feeling elated since the last weekend, or to put it rightly, in a positive frame of mind and that seems to be showing on my mind and soul.
Last weekend was busy and unlike regular ones when I go in for a voluntary claustrophobia , this time it was time spent outdoors, braving the heat of the MaySun.
Meeting friends and yes, doing another thing for the 1st time was a good experience in general. Sunday too was spent in some external activities with domestic connections, and shopping for trousseaus (curtains) !

This week I took it a little steady in office, and preferred to be laid back at times and enjoy, rather than go into a vicious cycle of cribbing and it helped. Suddenly out of the blue, my exercise routine is shaping up well, and hopefully so will my muscles, over a period of time, with regualar doses of gym workout.
Fixed a lot of small defects in office, and small though they might be, I suddenly realized how much better off I was compared to a year ago, when instability was my relentless companion and things like checkins and defect fixing seemed age old concepts. It feels good to contribute in whatever way to a nice li'll backup software, which is consumed by millions of customers round the world.

Have a presentation to make this afternoon, and that should consume the rest of the afternoon for me, preparing for the same and making ancillary arrangements to marshall stuff.
Looking fwd to this week as a precursor of the good times to come.
Hail the Kingfisher, the king of good times...

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Tumultous times...

These days, things are in a horrible state of flux and the air is full of ambivalent vibes. Atleast for me, on a personal front, its a listless, blase period, and not to say, a negative bias is the order of the day for certain events. I was experimenting with matter waves to turn things in my favor for the past quarter or so, since philosophy propheses the merits of experiment.
The outcome was never close to what I wish it had been; didn't even give me a glimmer of hope that something stupendous would come out. But then that ray of hope kept me going, wishing that the Lady Luck wud bestow its kindness on my gentle soul, later than never.

Incidences of this type make us realize the limitations that are congenial by nature in our deteriorating species. "Where there is a will there's a way" fell flat and i mourned to myself; especially since I thought and genuinely believed that it was 50% of my life (can't get more explicit) !
Introspection is done for the sake of fault finding, but often turns out to be a futile, time-consuming exercise which had rather be spent in real physical exercise LOL.
Maybe I didn't push the limits, and executed a plan, not so perfectly, and will now repent for a while till those bruises get a healing touch. Atleast, regarding the part of experimenting, I can stand tall and put up a brave front, that there was no hesitation to try.
I haven't read Gandhi's 'My experiments with truth' yet, but the urge to do that becomes stronger now, to see how he had the vision to turn his convictions into fruits of freedom.

My convictions work better for the stock market though, and to save the disgrace of any plagiralistic assault on my moral character, alike the one and only Kaavya, I must post a disclaimer as well. May be they are not germinal convictions of mine, but an assimilation of belief in some other people and religiously following their advice. I hope I land a source of conviction in matters of the heart too....

As if these score of events were just minor tremors in a placid ocean, professional concerns of a different nature ensure that peace and tranquil remain in theory and perhaps limited to certain blissful times of the day, which otherwise remain surrounded by dark clouds of uncertainty and a chain of volcanoes, like Mt Vesuvius, waiting to erupt and engulf the calm in its fumes and flames...
Inability to digest injustice has made me a Maverick of sorts, also justifying the name given to our class newgrp, although I wud say that adjective applies to a select coterie including me !
Maybe its just the heat in the system that's getting onto my nerves and makes my blood boil at times. Would the first pre-monsoon showers and the dip in the soaring mercury help calm things down and usher in a new era of greenery and prosperity ! I wonder in these tumultous times.......


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Blogman's back

I invented a phrase 'Blogosphere' only to find a few weeks later that a leading English daily was already using it. Who knows, maybe they just checked it out on BullishBear and exhibited a classic plagiaristic stunt, perfected by Indian media.
Today's blog title is another bow from my quiver of artistic, prosaic or poetic sense, if u may.

What's a blog after all, its an open ended letter to the Internet community which is glued together with the webspider. And very much akin to a postman delivering letters, these portals of fame deliver blogs, and I fancy calling myself a Blogman !
I hope there is someone sitting in a nook or recess in Antarctica or Australia or Armenia or Ajerbaijan looking fwd to these posts of mine with great enthusiasm, similar to the 'Chitthi aai hai' number' by Pankaj Udhas.

Last week I learnt and imbibed Gandhiji's principle of Non-violence the hard way. While its premature and not in my interest to open that chapter in digital format here, it has given me a glimpse of what can happen when u tread the path devoid of calm and tranquil and resort to uncivilized ways to bring things under control...

The Indian stock market is truely undergoing a mega metamorphosis and at this juncture everyone is either a BullishBear or a BearishBull. Taurus, being my moon-sign, gives me a birth right to be bullish and that perhaps explains the positivity that I exude in general. Not to mention that bulls come with their baggage of weaknesses too, stubbornness, a tad lazy at times etc...Rashiranjan on E-tv Marathi is doing a noble job of enlightening the classes and masses abt these occult things !

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Anomalous blog

It's been a while since I posted my last blog, and its definitely not the case that I forgot abt it suddenly. On the contrary, I opened this blog window on a couple of occassions only to retreat like a 'Ranchoddas' for paucity of thoughts and perhaps lack of time to ponder enough to scribble.

It so happens that a Friday night is very busy on my calendar. There are hordes of pending leftovers to be done in that small window of opportunity, before jaunting home for a nice weekend. Con calls at 20 hours is not the best on the temporal scale to lift sagging spirits on Friday night out, and then there is the status report to contend with, which takes its own sweet time to inflate LOL.
In the midst of this thick, my creative side of the brain says "Hey Akshay ! Take it easy and why don't you do some blogging at this hr". I have been wanting to get rid of this ritual of a sermon if you may every Friday nite, and so today's edition is poles apart from any Thursday tadka or Tehelka.

The Spring equinox came and went past by relatively unnoticed, atleast for me. A couple of weeks ago, I had been to a Bharatnatyam dance rendition by one of my school pals and her troupe and they demonstrated the changing hues and emotions with every passing season, and it was indeed refreshing to watch. This month a few more of my school mates have gone to diametrically opposite time zones, and there are ambivalent feelings everytime some news of this sort trickes in.

I see some pile of workload accumulating on my desk, err email, so .....

Friday, March 17, 2006

Sandwich

I would like to best describe this week as a lackluster one, with nothing happening on most fronts.
Not that the news flow trickle had dried up, there was the odd one like our India office chief being changed, plus a few things that tend to happen in any office. But such has been the dragging effect in general, that it has failed to liven up things.
One kewl thing to point out is this is a boring week sandwiched between 2 exciting weekend.
Last week we went for a nice trek to Rajgad fort, which was replete with the usual fun elements and extreme exhaustion which is inevitable for the non-bohemian person that I am, despite having the crutches of a pretty regular jog workout to support my stamina.
The coming one seems to promise a lot too, with meeting friends and watching a classmates dance concert !
Last Monday my aching body and the lack of penchant for going to office made me take a nice holiday @home, and the day before, it was a thoroughly and once in a lifetime opportunity to watch that Aus-SA match, which is as intense as ever and fiercely fought . It sounded like almost a super human effort to maul the target and the Aussie pysche in that process. Such were the irnoy of things, that a true blood Kangaroo fan like me was supporting the Proteas just for the sheer determination and fighting spirit which was abundant on display. Plus I wanted to be privy to the event and get my time's worth, which I achieved at the end of this run feast.
My defect Q count in office was in a state where the tail was raring to push defects alike our Indian team tail, but unfortunately, no such fortune came along my way.

In the middle of the week, I did a lot of yoga and meditation and have been reasonably high on confidence and self esteem. I have tried doing a 'Manav' of sorts like in the Showman Ghai special Taal, and as they say experimentation is the key to success. I have set my target in mind firmly and want to see whether matter waves, that we learnt in Physics and things like telepathy really materalize. Imp thing to realize is to be +ve in the process and not hope for anything but the best.. I am assuring my fleeting mind and jittery soul that the checkmate is round the corner. Keeping my fingers crossed ..

Happy weekend folks

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I know what it feels like..

The last fortnight has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride for me. There have been ebbs and crests, reminding us of those gigantic oceanic waves that surfers relish upon.
To share the good news, I got promoted to the next level, and am a Senior Software Engr now ! Time to party for sure .
I just put in a request for new visiting cards today. While I haven't had the good fortune of given Valentine's day card to anyone, business cards are the coward man's ticket to heaven, I feel.
Spring - if there is any such climactic condition in India, brings in its own set of chequered feelings. While on one hand, things looks beautiful, there is that characteristic feeling of solitude and a longing for the unknown ! Swings in the weather from 13 to 39 deg C only manage to keep umbrellas and wind cheaters active in unison.

Sometimes, you hear things about yourself from someone just out of the blue and are caught totally unawares. In fact, as they say, truth is a bitter pill to swallow. An incident on similar lines shook me out of slumber and the very natural phenomenon happened. First of all, I wasn't willing to fully accept my fallacies, and it was almost like my picture perfect image in the mirror was torn apart by a little pebble. Then followed the regular phenomenon, going into a shell. When things go wrong, they have this Saturnine effect of throwing self esteem for a toss and you almost look for an opportunity to curse your existence. I went thru one of the lowest nadirs ever in recent years; but that uncanny knack which God bestowes upon me sailed me through.

I think I have emerged stronger after this period and atleast will consciously try to set things order again.
And I also know what it feels like to FIL .

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The week after cupid

Its been a week since the Valentine fanfare and things are back to normal, even with love birds, I surmise. Boyfriends must be feeling lighter wallets as they ponder upon the fond memories of Cupid which struck last week, almost as predictably year after year as the Halley's comet does every 76 years.

Celestial megalomania thy name is Valentine's day, for loveless creatures, its a day in vain, which pinches harder and turns nerves of steel like the Steel Moghul Mittal into a listless corpse.

This week has made headlines because the avial flu aka bird flu has finally struck India, another feature in the cap of globalization, where none of us are insulated from the pandemic wonders of the modern world and nuclear weapons are available in countries ranging from the deep valleyso f the Amazon to the rain forests of the Congo and are available in 'desserts' if you wish in the Middle East.
The culling of chicken makes my heart ache, but little do I realize that these chicks are destined to die one way or the other; its just that they do not find a place in the plates and palates of carnovires and omnivores, which are teeming in urban society like never before....

India bt Pak 4-1 and it was a good series to watch and win for the country. The fresh blood that oozes thru the arteries and Aorta of Yuvi and Dhoni is truly remarkable.
Life in office is as medium-paced as it should be... While a routine life sounds a bit boring at times, I think its also something that we look fwd to day after day, rather than surprises at every alley and nook....


Monday, February 13, 2006

Blogging is my birthright

I visited my blog on a couple of occasions last week and my hand was itching to pen down a flurry of assorted thoughts as usual onto my blog. It would have been more of a blob, to computer nerds as against a blog, but Shakespeare's not to be won this round of the battle. Messers Time ensured that there were enough roadblocks along the path to procrastinate my passion to participate in this pluralistic pleasure of pine (err mine) !
Finally, Monday morning blues were conspicuous by their absence, and so I decided at this hour that that a bit of bravado would do no harm to blemish my boisterous self, bamboozed with a bit of bugs.
I don't know why so many alliterations are filling up this void today, but it just goes to prove the point that I have a natural flair for blogging. ha ha.

We had a small g2g of friends last week and it feels good to be in touch. We grabbed a few sandwiches at Subway before going to sip some coffee @Barista. Both these places seem outrageously expensive, and seem to take undue advantage of the heavy walets and purses that young dudes and dames seem to be flaunting around.
Last week has been memorable for my blog as the senses hit 10k and stayed there with ease. The bullish bear in me seems to have manifested itself beautifully and the cornucopia of wealth it is spreading around seems marvelous. The recent happenings on the bourses espouse the spirit of a resurgent India, that stands tall amidst filigreed beauty.
No amount of gerimandering by politicians or filbustering by the likes of bureaucrats seems to stem the tide of energy that we are experiencing. The 'bear' part suggests a word of caution at this juncture so as not to get carried away by the situation.

While Lokmanya Tilak said almost a century ago that swaraj was his birthright, and I feel that 'to blog is my birthright' so are Bharatvasis saying that 'A developed nation is my birthright'.
Don't sit back and enjoy this movement, for our Gita says "Keep doing your duty and the fruits are bound to follow".
Enjoy.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Flames and fumes

While things are sounding rosy on the personal front, it is not as sweet on the professional front.
Circumstances have been responsible for my gullibility, but its also my lack of self-conviction and the fear of failure that this can be alluded to.
I have decided to take this up as a challenge and turn things to my favor at the earliest.
While procrastination has been like my soulmate, I wish to bid adiue to it now and act in the living present. It was some Alice in Wonderland kind of dubious existence that I have been leading for a few years; now when I look around myself, I suddenly feel the world has moved too ahead to catch up. Not that this feeling sunk into me for the first time, but this time, the chasm of potential vs actual has acrued into a Grand Canyon of sorts, and its only the right time to build a Hoover dam or a Golden gate bridge over it to make a smooth sailing in future.

Sometimes, you realize your pitfalls and tend to ignore them, even if it hurts badly, since what kind of life it is if not strewn with shards of glass which we try to trumple underneath our feet, and hurt ourselves in the process, still not accepting the fact that this masochism is no good. There is a nice flat slab of pure, vitreous glass, waiting to cushion you feet, but just that it is a few miles away.
It takes a small pebble to shatter a mirror; and sometimes it takes one small incidence to cause a topsy-turvy in life !! During such times, it is not fair to curse the pebble, in fact its Thanks-giving time, though this one comes in January, not November, since it is enough to awaken the giant within.
I have read quite a few books talking abt realizing the inner potential, and making life successful. But it has been my unfotunate-ness, not to derive an iota of advice and apply it to life. But what sermons from parish fathers and pedagogical gurus cannt achieve, can be learnt from the live experiences in life.

Well, I still remember my new year "wish-list" not to get philosophical in my blogs, but I will treat this one as an exception, though v early in the year and ensure that I take steps to prevent such kind of posts in future.....

Tschus !

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Happy new year

Wishing all my fans a very happy new yr; I am trying not be modest this time, and taking the liberty that people reading thru my blog admire me for something, if not everything.
Life seems in much better shape and size, so to say, since I have re-paid partial debt to the Earth.
This is by virtue of getting rid of a few kilograms of mass, which has been gracefully docked off my body.
The compliments have flown in from a couple of a quarters and has done my self esteem a bunch of good.
Controversies in India are something as commonplace as potholes were on the streets of Pune a few months ago, when rains wreaked havoc. Firstly, there is the ensuing phone-tapping controversy which has made the govt go weak in its knees. Surprisingly, this symptom can occur when there is either a gush of positive energy or a tide of negative waves floating around. Luckily for me, I belonged to the earlier camp a week ago, when I suffered a blow of voluptuous infatuation. Makes one 'praise the Lord' at such times, since that is how I realize the meaning of his omnipresence.

The other controversy is always "Ganguly", and I believe this will continue till curtains fall on his chequered and illustrious career, but will still be remebered for the controversies that he leaves behind as a Pandora's box, full of legends. I can see beyond the mere coincidence that Raj Singh decided to wear the cap of team Manager to ensure that the Prince of Kolkata felt like a dwarfed nobody, struggling to wear the crown !!

Was watching the 'Legend of Tendulkar' this weekend on Star Sports and it was resplendent with his past glories; I really liked the centuries he made in my land down under, way back in 1991-92. I know pundits and fanatics of this sport will be breathing for my blood, but I am sure that Ricky Ponting, the Tasmnian Tiger will overshadow his record of Test centuries at the end of his illustrious career.