Tumultous times...

These days, things are in a horrible state of flux and the air is full of ambivalent vibes. Atleast for me, on a personal front, its a listless, blase period, and not to say, a negative bias is the order of the day for certain events. I was experimenting with matter waves to turn things in my favor for the past quarter or so, since philosophy propheses the merits of experiment.
The outcome was never close to what I wish it had been; didn't even give me a glimmer of hope that something stupendous would come out. But then that ray of hope kept me going, wishing that the Lady Luck wud bestow its kindness on my gentle soul, later than never.

Incidences of this type make us realize the limitations that are congenial by nature in our deteriorating species. "Where there is a will there's a way" fell flat and i mourned to myself; especially since I thought and genuinely believed that it was 50% of my life (can't get more explicit) !
Introspection is done for the sake of fault finding, but often turns out to be a futile, time-consuming exercise which had rather be spent in real physical exercise LOL.
Maybe I didn't push the limits, and executed a plan, not so perfectly, and will now repent for a while till those bruises get a healing touch. Atleast, regarding the part of experimenting, I can stand tall and put up a brave front, that there was no hesitation to try.
I haven't read Gandhi's 'My experiments with truth' yet, but the urge to do that becomes stronger now, to see how he had the vision to turn his convictions into fruits of freedom.

My convictions work better for the stock market though, and to save the disgrace of any plagiralistic assault on my moral character, alike the one and only Kaavya, I must post a disclaimer as well. May be they are not germinal convictions of mine, but an assimilation of belief in some other people and religiously following their advice. I hope I land a source of conviction in matters of the heart too....

As if these score of events were just minor tremors in a placid ocean, professional concerns of a different nature ensure that peace and tranquil remain in theory and perhaps limited to certain blissful times of the day, which otherwise remain surrounded by dark clouds of uncertainty and a chain of volcanoes, like Mt Vesuvius, waiting to erupt and engulf the calm in its fumes and flames...
Inability to digest injustice has made me a Maverick of sorts, also justifying the name given to our class newgrp, although I wud say that adjective applies to a select coterie including me !
Maybe its just the heat in the system that's getting onto my nerves and makes my blood boil at times. Would the first pre-monsoon showers and the dip in the soaring mercury help calm things down and usher in a new era of greenery and prosperity ! I wonder in these tumultous times.......